I finished the rough draft of a major novel last week. There was a great feeling of accomplishment and achievement. I treated myself to a movie out with a friend. I vowed to take a few weeks off before coming back to it for the first major revision.
But honestly, I miss it.
When writing a first draft, if it is something you care about (and why would you create something you didn’t care about?), there is this obsession with the material, the characters and the story. It doesn’t take much to send your brain back into that world you created in your imagination. And it isn’t always fun. There are other important and pressing things to deal with in real life, even things that take precedence. But that creative addiction needs to be fed.
For a few months, I HAD to finish the story. And when writing epic fantasy, that is no small feat. Once I did, though, I missed it.
I miss the characters, the story, the process, the focus, all of it. I miss it because the rough draft is the fun part. Stephen King says the first draft is you telling the story to yourself, and it is true. When a scene or part of the story comes together, I feel a weight lifted, a burden released. But then I feel a whole new one coming on … because there’s the next scene, the next turn in the journey for these characters I love.
Once it is over, then there is no next scene to write, to wrestle with. There’s no new part of the world to explore with my characters. This causes grief.
One reason for the grief is that I know what comes next. Editing. I’m going to have to go back and look at every line, word, scene, character, and now make sure I’m telling the story to everyone else in a way that communicates themes and emotions well. That takes work. A lot of work. At the end of that work is being able to share it with everyone and get that feedback we creative types both love and hate. So I’m willing to do the work for that, but it is still hard work.
In the meantime I will read. In the midst of writing, especially when I have a fulltime job, a wife, three kids, church family, and other family and friends, I don’t get to read as much as I would like. With that kind of life, you have to say “no” to lots of things, prioritize. So I’m reading some stuff I want to catch up on and will try something new to stretch my creative brain a little. Good writers are great readers.
Soon, however, I’ll need to return to the page, the keyboard, and create my own. That’s kinda what I do. And I’ll fall in love with some of my own characters again and tell their story to myself. Until then is the waiting, the preparing, the rest. The tinges of grief.
Peace.